By Laura K. Bryant

Statistics Not Promising

Who the Heck I Am and Why You Should Listen to Me

Seven years ago I was *40* pounds heavier than I am today! I felt sluggish, tired, fat, and ugly. I wore huge clothes to hide my body. I hated pictures and the mirror even more. I didn't want to be reminded of how much weight I had gained. I had let myself go in a way even I couldn't believe.

I was getting married in September 2001 and was exercising like a fiend to lose all the weight I couldn't believe I'd gained. Even though I'd known I was getting married for over a year and had talked to so many engaged women on diet pills and strange, harmful diets about how important it is to exercise and eat healthfully to lose the weight, I hadn't followed my own advice. I felt like a BIG HYPOCRITE!

The day of my wedding, I was dancing and my dress split at the sides. I had bought a wedding dress that was too small; I was so in denial about how big I truly was.

The last straw was when someone I worked with asked me if I was pregnant… AND I WASN'T! How absolutely embarrassing! But that wasn't the worst part…. A few days later, she asked me again, as if I'd lied to her the first time.

Something had to change. I had to change.

Today I am at my perfect weight (For more on what your perfect weight is—it’s not what you think it is—click here. I am lean, fit, and confident and know I will be this way the rest of my life!

I'm inspired, and feel energetic, vibrant, and strong.

I take great care of myself and know I am worth the time and effort! Weight maintenance has become easy.

Making Your Results Typical

1. Determine what works best for you, regardless of what others are saying or doing. A great way to do this is to pay attention to how you feel. Do you get excited about going for a walk with friends on the beach, but can’t stand the idea of going biking? Then walking on the beach it is! If something excites you, go for it!

Another perfect way to determine what works for you is to listen to your gut, heart, or internal guidance. Whatever you choose to call it, the internal messages you get about how to proceed are the best way to tune into what will work for you.

As you grew up, most people (e.g., parents, teachers, relatives, etc.) probably taught you to “think things through,” do pros and cons lists, and do what’s “realistic.” Through that process, you learned to dismiss your internal guidance; you got the message that making decisions from your head is better than making them from your heart. However, your heart is far more reliable; it is the source of your truth. Your head is filled with perceptions and beliefs that hold you back.

Your internal messages are there for a reason, and when you learn to listen, trust, and follow them, they can lead you to what is absolutely perfect for you.

2. Know what you want. Know who you want to be. Know how you want to feel. The key is becoming crystal clear on all of the above until you can picture it and feel it now.

WRITTEN EXERCISE: Get three pieces of paper, a pen, and a timer. On the top of one of the pieces of paper, write, “What I want” (You can do this in any area of your life; right now, focus exclusively on your body and health). Set the timer for two minutes, and write continuously for two minutes. Now is not the time to censor yourself (“Oh, that’s stupid,” “I can’t do that,” “That’s not realistic”). If you think, write it.

When finished with what you want, think about who you would have to be as a person to have what you want, and on the second piece of paper write, “Who I Am” at the top. Set the timer for another two minutes and start writing. Write everything in the present tense: “I am healthy.”

On the top of the third sheet of paper write, “I Feel.” Now, imagine being the person you want to be and all that you want as if it has already happened. You are at your perfect weight and are confident in your body. What would you feel like?

Set the timer for two minutes and start writing. What would you feel like when all everything you want has happened? Write it down now.

HELPFUL TIDBIT: Use what you’ve written above to create an affirmation (a positive phrase) you can say over and over throughout the day. A great time to do it is when you drive anywhere or when you go for a walk. For example, I use, “Every single cell in my body is alive with energy and health.”

The key is to create affirmations that excite you when you say them; that’s when you know you’ve got the perfect ones for you.

HELPFUL TIDBIT: Take what you wrote on your “Who I Am” and “How I Feel” lists and choose to be and feel that way NOW. Let’s say you wrote “I am confident” on your “Who I Am” list. How would you walk if you were confident? Start walking that way now, and you’ll begin to feel more confident.

Yes, it truly is that simple. The thing is, you have to do it over and over again until you condition the feeling of confidence in your body. Make sense?

3. Stay focused on the end result. Have you ever heard that what you focus on grows? Or how about “Keep your eye on the prize?” When you focus on the results you want as though they have already occurred, you think, speak, and act differently than when you constantly focus on what you don’t have or how frustrated and disappointed you are about your body.

ACTION EXERCISE: Take the three lists you created from the written exercise above and hang them where you’ll see them every day. Take time every morning to think about what is on those lists and internalize it—imagine it, feel it as though it has already occurred.

4. Surround yourself with support. When I say support I mean anybody or anything that gets you to where you want to be. Support can be pictures, books, DVDs, quotes, your personal trainer, or a friend who is as serious about reaching her goals as you are. Anyone or anything you feel good having around you.

One of the best things you can do is find people who have done what you want to do and hang out with them, ask them questions, take them to lunch. Learn about what they’ve done and do the same thing.

WORDS OF CAUTION: You become who you hang out with, and your current support system supports who you currently are. I’m not saying you have to drop every single person who is currently in your life. What I am saying is the more you can surround yourself with inspiring people, people who have done what you want to do, the better.

This is why weight-loss support groups can actually hinder your progress. Before writing my first book, Trust Yourself to Transform Your Body, I did a great deal of research on online weight-loss support groups. I also spoke at several support groups. Overall, these groups were very much “the blind leading the blind.” It was usually a bunch of people who would all get together and swap recipes or share their exercise secrets, yet not a single one ever lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off. There were people in some of these groups who had literally been there for years and hadn’t lost anything except a few pounds here and there.

I remember one of the seminars I did I mentioned Weight Watchers and how every single person I know who had joined Weight Watchers, some of whom had lost A LOT of weight, gained it all back and then some. There was a woman at this particular seminar who was the biggest woman there. On the feedback form I have people fill out, she wrote something along the lines of, “Be careful what you say about Weight Watchers. They’re very nice people.”

I never said the people who attend the meetings aren’t nice. I questioned whether or not people who join the groups get the results they want; that’s it.

If you’ve tried Weight Watchers or are currently a member and are feeling angry or defensive about what I’ve shared, I ask you to ask yourself whether you’re getting the results you want—be honest. If you are, great! If not, maybe it’s time to surround yourself with people who have done it, as opposed to people who still want to do it.

5. Get rid of the junk in your head. By junk I mean your disempowering or limiting thoughts and beliefs. A limiting belief is any belief that doesn’t serve you. As a child, your unconscious mind accepts whatever beliefs it is taught. As an adult, you can consciously choose which beliefs you live by. If you have beliefs that are holding you back, choose to live by more empowering beliefs.

Creating the body you’ve always wanted takes questioning everything you think you know about weight loss and ditching any belief that doesn’t fully empower you, that doesn’t feel good to believe.

Invitation from Laura K. Bryant—Get even more free information!

I love empowering women to feel great about themselves and their bodies! To that end, I provide even more great free information in a couple of reports called, The 3 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Trying to Reach and Maintain Their Perfect Weight and Reaching Your Perfect Weight. To receive free access to these reports, go here now.

© 2008, Laura K. Bryant, Inspire Fitness, ReachYourPerfectWeight.com